Last week found me mulling over and over on God’s generosity. You see, since I was a child, I’ve always believed that God is good, that He is ultra generous, and that His capacity to surprise is even more so. But I have also always believed that His generosity to me has nothing to do with how I behave - that it’s just in His nature to be a tremendous giver.

September 14 was the 6th Star Awards for music, for which I was belatedly informed that I was nominated for two categories. I’ve always had unsure feelings over award shows - I’d get nominated but more often than not, I don’t win (though I suppose one could say that I have won my fair share). As such, I wasn’t really looking forward to going. And that Sunday there was a heavy downpour so I decided not to go anymore as I might get stuck in the floods. 

The following day, since I didn’t get a phone call nor a text from management, I googled the winners list and true enough, I didn’t win. I wasn’t outrightly disappointed, but I suppose there was a tiny bit of me that wanted to win. Anyhow, I just shrugged it off, and went about my day. At around seven in the evening, a good friend who saw a newspaper article featuring the most recent list of album sales top sellers took a photo of it and tagged me. I was truly surprised! My latest album Bossa Love was number one overall for the week of September 1-7! I was inwardly marvelling at the Lord’s goodness - emotions especially magnified coming from not winning at the Star Awards and the fact that my album was released January pa and ngayon lang nag-chart tapos number one overall pa!

I immediately reposted the photo on my social media accounts, expressing profound gratitude to all for their support. Family, friends, and fans offered their customary congratulations and “proud of you” statements. What sent me into deep wonder though, were the “you deserve it” posts. I really didn’t get it. I had trouble believing that God’s shower of blessings to me had anything to do with my actions here on earth. I clung to my belief that God is good to everyone, that we are all equally blessed.. and that no matter what I do God will always stay His same generous Self.

And so in my confusion I sent a text to my priest friend, Father Anthony (who thankfully entertains my very random questions on faith and the bible, hehe). Do allow me to share our exchange here:

9/18/14, 9:48am

Good morning Father Anthony! I hope you are well 😊 i am confused po kasi. When God answered my prayer for a man like my fiancé, and recently when I learned that my album topped the recent charts, people have been saying that I deserve it. I don’t understand Father. Isn’t the Lord good and generous to everyone, and He doesn’t give based on what we do? But then I’m reading Jeremiah and I came acros 17:10 - that He rewards a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve. Kindly enlighten Father when you have the time po. Hehe sorry sa istorbo 😁  

9/18/14, 10:50am

Father Anthony:

Maybe God does not want you to think na hangang kay Joey lang powers niya so… He added a little extra… A huge extra pa nga with your album topping the charts haha

…kidding aside..

First, we can never underestimate the wisdom…and consequently the plan of God that emanates from His wisdom

Me:

Hehe! But i believe i’ve always been blessed Father! I believe since bata pa ako that God is especially good to me. 

But it’s not because i’m relatively “mabait” right? It’s because He is a very generous God? 

Father Anthony:

Hence, His choice of blessings and the extent of such blessings…should be seen as His Divine prerogative… Having said that.. 

We believe that we were also given freedom… Hence God can only do so much in as far as we also consent to it or are receptive to Him and His grace… 

Hence, while it is not wholly up to you to deserve the blessings, we can also at least say that a healthy kabaitan… Or openness to God’s grace is a good condition not to hinder God from working His marvels :-) 

That of course is not a total answer to silence all mysteries in life…. Pero such thoughts keep us in loving gratitude and humble submission to Him :-) 

Me:

Ayun!! An openness to God’s grace.. Thank you Father!! Ako'y naliwanagan ang saya!! Thank God for you and His word and His Graces!!

So there! Hehe.. a healthy attitude of openness to His graces.. a continual expectant disposition to His blessings.. to never undermine what He can still do for us. Sometimes, I fall in the sweet slumber of His goodness, that I forget to see, and truly know, that He is Great.

In the midst of sicknesses, and fiery trials, and patient waiting for His answers to our prayers, may we never forget that He is good, that He is great, and even in our understanding of this, we can never truly fathom the expanse of His generosity.

God bless you, my friends. Have a wonderful, beyond blessed week. <3