My Crazy Husband's Funny Quips
Marry the man who makes you laugh like there's no tomorrow. <3
The husband is coming home!! He’s been away for business for almost a week and in my excitement (akala mo naman taon o buwan siya nawala hahaha), I’m dedicating an entry to him and to his many quips, for which I am unashamed to admit, keep me extremely happy and entertained in our relationship. :D As in, parang lahat nlng ng i-joke niya, benta sa akin hahaha! Did you say #truelove ? :p
On our very first date I’ve already gotten a glimpse of just how corny Joey was. I don’t remember exactly what it was that he said (was that the time when he added “and chairs and balloons and party needs” when somebody said “tables”?). What I do remember was softly banging my forehead on the table because his joke was really just the roll-your-eyes-and-bang-your-head-into-something kind, hehe! Years hence, I now wish I’d taken the time to jot down every crazy thing he has ever said. I did manage to record a few, and some are so outrageous they’ve just been committed to memory, hehe!
Sharing some of his quips in this entry! Do enjoy and feel free to laugh out loud or shake your head at them. I promise when you’re finished reading this entry, you’d be as much a fan of my husband as I am. Well, maybe not to my fangirl-crazy, blinded-by-love level, hehe!
Enjoy!
When he changes the lyrics to certain songs
The Carpenters’ Superstar:
“Don’t you remember I told you I don’t remember??”
Sergio Mendes’ Bridges:
“There’s a brief for tomooorrow
There’s a brief for todaaaay
There’s a brief for next weeeek"
(So sorry I forgot what he replaced for this next line)
Another version:
“There’s a brief in the laundryyy
There’s a brief on the beeeed
There’s a brief in the banyooo
And a brief on my pwet"
Mulan’s Reflection (while looking at himself in the mirror):
“Who is this boy I see? Staring straight back at me.
Why is my reflection someone I don’t know?
I KNOW I’M THIN INSIDE
NOW I’M FAT OUTSIDE
When will my reflection show who I am inside????”
Cat Stevens' Father and son:
(It was Day 3 of prayer and fasting week. Joey was on a liquid fast for brekky and dinner, salad only and no sugar for lunch. That morning, he sang:)
“It’s not time to make a change, just relax, take it easy
Look at me, I am old, and I'M HUNGRY.”
Whitney Houston’s The Greatest Love of All
“The greatest lovable…is lovable to meeeee.
I found the greatest lovable is actually me.”
Jose Mari Chan’s Please Be Careful With My Heart
“From the very start, please be careful with my fart.”
On the eternal presence of his used clothes beside the bed
One Tuesday, Joey left the pair of jeans he used that day by the bed. I decided to leave it be to see if he’ll do anything about it. Two days later, I ask him:
“Bubs, marumi na ba ‘to?”
He replies, with a face that obviously looks like he’s up to no good,
“Hindi pa. Walang marumi sa akin. Walang marumi sa malinis kong katawan.”
I struggled to keep a straight face :D
Exhibit A. Hahahaha
Later that evening:
Joey, referring to the picture of the used jeans I mentioned above that I posted: "Natatawa pa rin ako sa post mo!"
Me: "Nakakatawa ka kasi talaga! Haha! Pinag-isipan mo pa talaga how best to communicate na malinis ka at hindi ka dumudumi! Hahaha!"
Joey: "Hahaha! Yup!"
Me: "Pls don’t ever change hehe"
Joey: "Ok. Will forever leave my pants beside the bed!"
When he got home and changed, he laid his used clothes exactly as pictured below, haha! Hay nakooo :D
One evening before bed, I promised him that his is the face I would still love to see and kiss everytime, even after the kids come.
Me: “I promise I will never change.”
Joey: “Me too, I promise not to change. Ikaw pa rin magliligpit ng mga gamit ko.”
Hahaha! I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Then again, I laughed. :D
Body talk
Joey’s butt is my favourite body part of his coz it’s so big and squishy!! One evening before bed, I ask:
Me: “Bubs, paano lumaki ng ganyan pwet mo? Nung pinanganak ka na ba, malaki na pwet mo?”
Joey: “Oo. Nung pinanganak ako, nakabara pwet ko kaya na-Caesarian si Mom.”
While watching the opening credits of Daimos, Joey, noticing the robot’s stance, had this to say:
“May thigh gap si Daimos.”
On fat
“Panandaliang sarap, pangmatagalang taba.” (Tama nga naman.)
A conversation on what food to eliminate to lose weight:
Me: “Actually, yung baboy kailangan mo din bawasan. Ang taas sa cholesterol nun, di ba? Ewan ko ba, something about men and their affinity with pork. Bakit nga ba?”
Joey: “Nakakalalaki kasi. Tignan mo dati pagkatapos ng gyera, lahat sila kumakain ng drumsticks.” He then imitates a warrior eating ravenously.
Me: “Drumsticks? E di ba chicken yun?”
Joey: “May kasama na ring baboy dun.”
On another occasion, I had pointed at Joey’s tummy hours after watching the Game of Thrones Season 7 finale:
Me: “House Targaryen ba ang nandyan?”
Joey: “Hindi. House TABARYAN.”
HAHAHAHA! I LOVE MY CRAZY HUSBAND!!
Love him yet? :D <3
Thanks for reading! I hope my husband made you laugh ;)
Bossa love,
Sitti